The Dynamite Diaries (#2): A Creeper’s Birthday
24 February, Thursday
Hello, gamers! Today’s a school break! In Minecraft, our school, Minecraft Mob Middle School, January the 1st till March the 31st is a school break. I’m visiting Inky daily, but he says that during weekends (that don’t rain), he’ll be visiting me instead.
I’m really bored. Imagine if you could play Mimecraft in Minecraft. Wouldn’t that be cool?
You see, Inky and I have seen this poster on a tree. Well, a locked map on an item frame on a tree, anyway. It was a building competition. I know I said I was bored, but actually, Inky’s getting it all planned out. He says that we have to collect resources, but slowly. The competition’s held on March 15th, which is… a lot of days.
Also, my reports aren’t that good. You see, there’s been this skeleton and his gang, that’s been annoying and bullying me lately. His name is Archer, and there are three others; Bones, Gleam and Flame. They’re all real mean, but Inky’s helping stand up against them. They seem to be real scared of Endermen, though, I dunno why. If Inky just stays away from me, even for one nanosecond, they’d be bullying me, but once he sprints up to me, they just run away… Weird, right? Well, the teachers never see them disturb me, but they see me trying to make them back off… Inky comes at the last second, but at least he helps!
Anyways, it’s bedtime, I got to go… see you in the morning!
25 February, Friday
Good morning! Inky and I are going to grief a nearby village, imagine those villager faces when they wake up! I’ll blow up the village while they farm and work and gather, and after that, Inky’ll place random ugly blocks everywhere, he says he’s been collecting. Of course, our parents allow us, we’ve been at war since those humongous villager noses and themselves were added to the game.
Aha! The village! We’ve got it ALL planned out… We just need them to gather at the center, now… 5, 4, 3, 2, 1… Okay! Let’s do this!
BAM! I exploded.
BAM! BANG! KANG! BANG! BAM! BANG!
Now, behind the hill… Inky! Teleporting to random spots! Yeah!!!
Two minutes later…
Ah… What a beautiful sight. A burning village, griefed walls and a leaking well. Ah, more creeper friends! Hi!! Wanna help grief it even MORE?
Oh! Look at THAT! Oh my WORD! A SURVIVOR! My word, look at you… Look guys, it’s a baby villager in an exposed cave! You know what, ignore him… I’m sure those mobs in the cave’ll be happy to:
Number one; have the baby villager as food
Number two; have a way to enter and exit, seeming that they’ve been stuck there for at least when the server was created.
It’s getting late now, but I’m sure Mom and Dad won’t be worried… Sparked usually get out late at night and play with the lily pads in a nearby lake…
26 February, Saturday
3 more days! Believe it or not, my birthday is in THREE days, which is an HOUR in a players real life… I wish I weren’t coded, and was an actual human that has a LIFE, and is NOT just stuck in a video game…
Each day plus night is TWENTY minutes, so being in a coded life is quite short. That reminds me — Inky’s birthday present! When he comes over, I’ll hand it to him, because it’s been almost a year since I remembered!
Lunch! Pork Chops! Yippee! Inky’s here as well, the newly installed note block plus gold block dinging doorbell just rang… Too bad Minecraft didn’t add any peep holes…
Lucky we have extras, Inky didn’t have his lunch.
“Here you go, dude, almost a year late and a few months early birthday present! So now, I don’t have to give you a birthday present this year, ha!” I said as soon as we got into my room.
“Dude, you know that I can give you two wood planks and tell you that that’d be your birthday present supply for life? Kinda like whatcha doing now, you know…” said Inky.
“Eh… Ok, fine, only because I still need more birthday presents. Other than that… Eh…”
“Anyways, come here, I have a present that I can’t wait… Here!”
“What’s thi — AGH! EXPLODING MOBS, INKY, THANKS!”
“No problem!”
“This is the cutest thing ever! Plus, is has a 0.083% chance of spawning, why did you give it to me, and not keep it?!”
“I found it in the little lake of yours outside there… Poor little guy, your little brother was disturbing it!”
“This is probably the BEST birthday present ever! Also, open the present I gave you!”
As Inky ripped open his present, I was looking at it excitedly.
“Woah! Where’d you get this?”
“I saved up for some materials and I almost got STUNG by bees when I crafted those candles… Totally forgot to place a campfire. Luckily, there was an ocean nearby, anyway.”
“The cake?”
“Bought some materials and got the rest by the family farms.”
“And… The flint and steel?”
“Asked for one in Dad’s friend’s shop…”
“Wow! You sure went through a load of trouble for this!”
“It’s okay, you supplied me with a bucket! What am I supposed to feed it?”
“Tropical fish. In a bucket.”
“Well, I already have a bucket here, so no big deal…”
Then, I saw a name tag flutter out of the present paper.
“Wow! I can use the new anvil Dad and I made to name him! I know! Let’s name it Lake!”
“Good idea. Anyway, it’s six, I need to go. See you tomorrow!”
“Bye!”
If you were wondering, by the way, Inky got me a BLUE AXOLOTL. Cool, right? He even gave me a name tag! I gave him a cake, a lime candle and a flint and steel. I hope he eats it! I’m not so good at baking, but I sure am good at eating…! 😀
27 February, Sunday
Two days!
Today, I’ll go down to the beach and ask Dad if I can borrow his buckets. I need to get some food for Lake, at least enough for a week, so I don’t need to keep going to the ocean.
Guess what? Dad said he’d help! I just remembered, I need to make a tank for Lake! I’ll make it underground… We need some glass and decoration materials too! First, I’ll keep Lake in the bucket.
Phew! Finished! This is what we did…
I dug a 3×3 hole in the ground in my room, 3 blocks deep, too. Then, I filled it with water, making it still.
After that, I put Lake in my bucket, which I put in my chest. Ender chest, that is.
Then, Dad and I went down to the ocean, 2 stacks of 16 buckets each in our inventory. We swam to the coral reef, where we collected some coral and kelp. We also dug a load of sand in the desert.
Now, the scary part. We needed sea lanterns, so we went to an ocean temple. Dad asked the elder guardians for some sea lanterns, and they were SO generous they gave us three stacks each!
Not long later, we spotted ANOTHER blue axolotl! Dad said for me to give it to Inky, so I agreed, but said, “I’ll breed him first?”
At home, I got building. I’ll say, it’s not bad! The floors of the tank was sand, with some random kelp and coral scattered everywhere. On the walls, there was a strip of sea lanterns.
Ah… Done! Now, just to breed Lake! After I bred Lake, there was a baby axolotl. I picked up the adult axolotl that Lake bred with, and waited for Inky to arrive.
Ding dong! Ding dong!
“Come to my room,” I muttered under my breath.
“Okay,” said Inky.
When we arrived at my room, I gave Inky the blue axolotl and explained everything. He didn’t accept it though. He said stuff about already having a cyan one and stuff.
At six, Inky left. Though, Inky did come up with a good idea! He said, “What about you make a wooden stall outside your house in your front yard, then put signs saying you sell blue axolotls. Put maybe something like ‘1 diamond = 1 axolotl’ or something!”
Maybe I should do that…
28 February, Monday
Dad agreed with Inky’s idea! He took out wood from the garage, and we started building. I made the price ‘1 diamond/32 iron = 1 random axolotl; 2 diamonds = 1 blue axolotl, 3 tropical fish buckets; 2 diamonds 32 iron = 1 blue axolotl, 3 tropical fish buckets, 1 random axolotl; 4 diamonds = 1 blue axolotl, 2 random axolotls, 5 tropical fish buckets; 32 iron = 2 tropical fish buckets; SALE: 64 iron = 5 tropical fish buckets’. Quite a lot of sales, right? I’ll have to collect more random axolotls in the ocean and make a farm in the farm room… There’s an extra spot in the far right corner of the room.
Finally! I spent half the day trying to make this farm… *breathes in*; Ah! The smell of pork chops fill my nose! I love pork chops with baked potatoes! I kind of changed. Mom now either overcooks the beef or forgets to cook it at all. But pork chops are now the new normal! Ah… Lunch! Ooh, I think I smell golden carrots for dessert… Yum! Just in time before my birthday! 😀
Chomp chomp chomp… CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP! Slurrrrrrrrrrrp! Guys — Mom actually cooked mutton, with golden apples for dessert. And normal carrots instead of baked potatoes… Don’t forget the water bottles! I’ve gotta say, this lunch is not bad, not bad at all…
“…and we’ll be having the leftovers for dinner, so I don’t have to cook any food. Also, I saw this new DVD called ‘Zumba Zombies’, and I thought we all needed some exercise, so I bought the whole set. We’re starting healthy on March the 1st, so I’ll start throwing away junk food,” said Mom.
“What?! No, you can’t do that, Mom… If not, let me help you do it!” I added as my brain formed an idea. “Tonight.”
“That’s kind of you, Dynamite!” said Mom, clearly not seeing through me.
As I got up to wash my hands and go to my room, an evil smile formed on my face. I’m going to sneak all the junk food into my room, and hide it in the secret room that Dad and I made using redstone, I thought. I’ll tell Dad so he won’t go crazy.
There’s a camouflage dark oak button on the wall, on my dark oak cupboard. Mom never noticed it because she’s too ‘busy’ doing work. But we all know that she only cooks and cleans the house, anyway, if that’s what she means.
I quickly set my alarm clock to midnight, and had some dinner, then went to bed.
Ringgggg! Ringgggg! Ri — Bloop. I switched off the alarm and, like a secret agent, crept along the floors of the house. Everything went fine, that is, until I accidentally stepped on the not-in-use pressure plate that was the colour of the birch floors.
I sprinted into the kitchen, and grabbed all the junk food. My inventory half full, I opened all the barrels and chests and stuffed everything inside my inventory. Then, after finding stacks more of junk food, I ran into my room, luckily jumping above the not-in-use pressure plate.
Click! I ran into the secret room, stuffing all the food in barrels.
I checked my golden watch that I got from the achievement ‘Ooh, Shiny’.
29 February, Tuesday
It was six. Mom was up. Sparked was wailing. Lime was yawning. Dad was — well, snoring, I guess. And I — I was running out of the secret room.
Closed the door — okay. My birthday! Yippee!
I skipped down the stairs and saw some cake and a lit green candle on said cake. Wow! I can’t believe it! My birthday!
I gobbled down three slices of cake, meaning the rest could only have one. After that, I mouthed the words we need to talk, quick, in my room. I’m pretty sure he understood, because he said “Got to go”, and I could’ve sworn that he winked at me.
Then, I explained everything to Dad after we were at my room.
“Ooh! Perfect! I’ve heard of this Zumba Zombie thing, and my friends say that it. Is. Not. Fun. Did you get the golden carrots?” asked Dad.
“Yup,” I said.
We were talking until Mom called us for pork chop lunch.
Mom ACTUALLY cooked some pork chops (I’d give it a 1000/10), some baked potatoes (100000/10, these were pure delish), and finally some ENCHANTED GOLDEN APPLES (1000000000000000000000000000/10, how did Mom get so rich?!).
After that, I went to my room to serve Lake some lunch. Sparked crawled into the room, and I just closed the trapdoor to the tank when Sparked was on the glass beside it.
At dinner, we had the same as lunch and I opened my 6 presents.
Mom gave me a Zumba Zombie DVD. Bruh! I thought as I forced a smile at Mom.
Dad gave me a ‘How To Train Axolotls’ book. I beamed at him.
Lime gave me a lead.
Sparked gave me a tropical fish. He must’ve caught that on his own, the Exploding Baby, I thought.
The 5th one was sent by post from Grandma and Grandpa. They gave me load more books and quills.
The 6th one was ‘from the whole family’. It was really, really big. Two blocks wide, one block tall. I opened it and it was —
“A DOG!” I screamed.
They gave me five bones and I tried to tame it. On the last one, it was tamed, and I dyed it’s collar lime. Then, I grabbed a random cooked pork chop as a treat to him. I put him on a lead and we ran upstairs. Time for bed! I made my new pet, DustDeer, sit on my bed. Did I mention that I got ANOTHER name tag to name him?
1 March, Wednesday
I was skipping along the hills, Dust at my heels, Lake in a bucket in my hand. We skipped far and wide, playing hide and seek in the tall grass we came across. Suddenly, Dust opened his mouth and said, “Pig.” Then — “Pig.” “Pig.”
Both Lake and Dust were saying it now. “Pig, pig, pig, pig, pig…”
Just then, the dream faded away. Sparked was sitting on me, saying, “Pig, pig, pig, pig, pig!”
“What ‘pig’?” I asked.
“Pig!” he said pointing to the wall that went to his room. I got up, yawning, and we set off to his room, me carrying him there.
“So?” I asked, putting him down, as he looked around the room.
“PIG!” he still said. Then… Hold up, I thought. I’ve never heard or seen the Exploding Baby say anything… Could that just be his first word, which is the reason to him still saying ‘pig’?
The moment I thought that, I knew I was wrong. I looked under the bed.
Oh my word, I thought. I rubbed my eyes. No… No, Sparked couldn’t’ve made a pig sleep with him…
I checked my pockets. My inventory. My handy shulker box. Nothing. My lead wasn’t there! And… NO! SPARKED IS NOT CHEWING MY LEAD!
Sparked spat out my lead, and pulled the pig to me.
“Pig,” he said hopefully.
“No pig,” I said, trying to control my temper. “No, no pig. Put pig out. Pig can’t be here. Mom and DAD will be ANGRY. Okay?” I was trying to make him understand.
I snatched the lead out of his hands and shook my head.
Then, Sparked shook his…
For Sparked had just hidden a pig from outside under his bed.
“SNORT!”
A story written by Craft <3
